Demonic Driver's Ed Ch 5

Bill slid into his former archenemies prized possessions, a pumpkin colored rusty old car, and took a sigh of relief that he had just passed getting into the car. Now, how to start the infernal contraption was on a whole different page. Mabel was sitting in the passenger's seat of her twin brothers Chrysler as she wore a yellow sweater with a black steering wheel on it. Mabel also wore large pink plastic glasses to better enhance her vision as she would scribble down notes and other tidbits on a giant notepad with a giant pink fuzzy pencil as Bill would drive Dipper's car in a mini driving course that Mabel had set up in a dirt lot that they could use. Mabel had settled up several different obstacle courses that consisted of several different attractions to park by like the Mystery Box. Also, Mabel had put up a cardboard display known as Worlds Worst Parents. It was a giant edgy looking mansion, and Mabel would allow an illegal drive through the mansion cut out to gain extra credit to pass the drivers test. Meanwhile, Officer Waddles was busy eating a small patch of grass that overlooked the drivers course, being too busy snacking to notice any illegal violation Bill would cause. Most people would ask why Dipper would lend his car to his rambunctious twin sister and her crazy boyfriend. Dipper's response would be 'They're Doing What?!'. Dipper and Pacifica were taking a daily cat nap on this lazy Saturday afternoon with each other in Dipper's bed, which led Mabel to notice the amount of time they could use to let Bill get his drivers license from someone who was a skilled driver, totally not being persuaded due to their relationship.

"I don't see why I need to drive these metal death traps... This is far too dangerous for even Pine Tree to control! Like, how old is this thing?!" Bill said as he slammed his hands on the wheel of the car. Mabel wrote this act of annoyance down for Bill's overall score.

"I think it's older than Grunkle Stan. But besides that, you still need a car for us to drive around in! How else are we going to see the sunset in a very hot pink convertible?" Mabel said as she looked over to Bill who was trying to figure out what the numbers meant by the letters 'M P H'.

"Is there a car shaped like a triangle? Cause that's the only way I would be caught driving one of these things ever." Bill said as he smoothed the wheel with his hands.

"Hm... I heard of box cars, but no triangle cars... Maybe we can invent one!" Mabel said as she tugged on Bill's arm.

"Now's not the time for inventions Bill! Now's the time for miracles! Start this mean piece of scrap metal up and put the pedal to the medal! But do it civilized so I can pass you." Mabel said as she buckled up and got ready for Bill to take his first drive in a humans car as the driver. Bill looked around nervously and let go of the wheel and heavily scratched his head in confusion. There was a small knob that was blue on the left of the knob and red on the right; maybe that was the key to starting the car. Bill began to twist and fiddle with the knob, spinning it all the way to red, waiting a few seconds as nothing happened. Bill looked over to Mabel who was staring at him with a smile. Bill laughed nervously then spun the knob to the blue side, yet still nothing. Bill groaned as he moved from knob to switch and buttons to levers, yet the car did not whir to life whenever Dipper seemed to handle the machine. Bill grabbed his head and almost pulled his hair out until he realized he held a small key in his hand. Bill looked at it and looked at the wheel to see a small slot where it could fit. Bill slid the key into the slot, waited a few minutes and turned the key, causing the death traps engine to whir to life. Bill raised his fist into the air in victory as Mabel scribbled down a note or two about Bills first step in driving, turning on the car.

"What're you writing over there Shooting Star?" Bill said as he leaned over and tried to look over to what Mabel had just written.

"Not your problem right now. What I need you to do is put the car in reverse, turn around and do a u-turn at Lazy Susan's Shopping Cart right behind us." Mabel said as she put the notes on her chest and pointed to the cart establishment behind them. Bill looked over and decided it was now or never as he grabbed the wheel and felt around with his foot for a pedal. Finding a slim one, he slammed on it causing the wheels to spin and the engine to rev, but the car did not move forward. Bill looked around to see what was wrong and looked at the dashboard to see illuminated symbols such as "P, D, R, N, F4." Bill scratched and titled his head to the letters. They must have something to do with making the car move. Bill grabbed the lever that was near the letters and thought which letter would represent to go backwards. R? N? They were already in P, that must mean standing still. Bill decided it was either F4 or D. F4 sounded like it meant forward 4... Whatever that means. D must mean drive, but drive didn't necessarily mean going backwards. Bill eyed R but connect it with Rolling so that was clearly out of the question. Then there was N? Maybe it meant Nitro? If Nitro represented boosting, Bill certainly did not want that. D was looking like the only option, so Bill switched the lever to D and looked back at the Shopping Cart Diner and prayed the car would work for him to go backwards for him. Bill hit the pedal for gas and the car zoomed forward and not only crashed through the Mystery Box, but Mabel placed the Box near a large tree that was on the outskirts of the lot and Bill and Mabel crashed straight into it, causing the cars hood to bend around the tree. Bill and Mabel were thankfully not hurt in the crash, despite Bill not wearing a seat belt. Bill looked forward in shock at the tree, not knowing exactly what he just did as Mabel gave a sigh and scribbled down a giant X over the notes.

"Well... I got some bad news Will." Mabel said as she grabbed Bill by the arm.

"The bad news is that firstly you did not pass due to taking too long to start the car, not wearing your seatbelt, and also crashing the car. More bad news is that Dipper might go into a shock coma if he finds out about the car." Mabel said as she got out of the car as Bill flipped the lever to R and managed to reverse the car a few feet to see the hood was fully bent inwards due to the impact. Bill got out and held his head, worried over Dipper's reaction.

"What do we do? We can't just let him find it like this!" Bill said as he ran by the large dent in the car. Mabel put a finger to her jaw and thought real hard about the next course of action.

"Hm... Maybe we can give the dent a small tap from the sledgehammers in the back of the car? You know, bump it out!" Mabel said as she popped open the trunk and took out two sledgehammers that had really no reason to be in the back of the car unless it came to hammering in large evil nails... Stranger things tend to happen around the Pines Twins. Mabel gave Bill a sledgehammer as they walked towards the dent. Bill looked over different places they could hit the car for the bump to come out but then came to the genius revelation.

"Okay! Let's hit the headlights so that we can cause the two sides to be evened out with the dent!" Mabel tilted her head to Bill's rational line of thinking and headed over to the right side headlight as Bill went to the left.

"Alright... You sure this is going to work?" Mabel said as she readied to hit the headlight.

"Sure! We hit these sides, the middle will pop forward! Simple science!" Bill said as he readied to hit his headlight.

"Count of three okay? One... Two..." Bill said as he and Mabel swung their hammers back.

"Three!" Bill shouted as they both slammed the hammers into the headlights, busting them instantly. Bill yelled and dropped the hammer.

"Oh great! Now look what you did William!" Mabel said as she pointed to the busted headlights.

"Me?! You slammed that side and I hit this side! We're both at fault here!" Bill said as he picked up the hammer.

"Whatever! My turn to pick a spot..." Mabel said as she stood on the hood and next to the large indent of cars front and to the now two busted headlights.

"Okay! Let's smash down here!" Mabel said as she tapped her foot down at the end of the large indent on the hood, in the middle of the hood.

"Why there?" Bill said as he stood on the cars hood.

"Because! The bump is straight down the middle; We hit the middle, the bump pops back out!" Mabel said with her perfect logic. Bill looked at the damage they caused and shrugged in acceptance as Mabel laid out her perfect simplifying of the situation.

"Count of three 'kay?" Mabel said as she raised her Hammer, Bill raising his by the center of the hood and nodded.

"One... Two... Three!" Mabel said as she slammed down her hammer and Bill slammed down his as the sides of the hood popped up causing them to lose balance and fall on their rears onto the now very bent hood.

"Well great going Shooting Star! YOU made it worse!" Bill said as he got up and got onto the cars roof. before Mabel could rebuttal, Bill said.

"We have to hit the windshield! It'll cause the force to come down from the top of the car and smoke out all the bumps we caused!" Bill said as he held out his hand for Mabel to climb up onto the roof. Mabel shrugged and got up, it was his turn of choosing a place to hit anyway.

"Alright, count of three?" Mabel asked as Bill nodded his head and raised his sledgehammer.

"One. Two. Three!" Bills said quickly as both of them slammed the hammers into the window and caused the glass to break and crack. Bill looked surprised that the hammer was stuck in the windshield and tried to pull the hammer off as Mabel jumped off the car worried at the damage they caused, and what Dipper would say. Bill jumped off and went to Mabel's side and put his arm around her as they began to think of what else to do.

"Well... I don't think we should slam on the car anymore... What about the places that fixes cars, what are they called... Mechanics?" Bill asked as he gave Mabel a small shake.

"We are going to need to call in a huge favor. Pacifica will totally squeal on us, Wendy would want to take the rest of the summer off to pay for this, and Dipper will kill us." Mabel said as she thought very hard to think how they would get enough money to fix and tow Dippers car.

"What about Fez Hats money machine?" Bill said as he put out one theory.

"Grunkle Stan's cash register? That's only for emergencies only!.. Good point." Mabel said as she began to walk away from the crash and wreck site and make her way towards the Mystery Shack.

"This is like a win, win situation for us Shooting Star! We'll totally get enough money to fill back the money holder! We just need to hurry and call someone to take the scrap heap over there and get it fixed." Bill said as he walked side by side with Mabel.

"We still need you to pass your drivers exam though William!" Mabel said. Bill leaned over and pecked her on the lips.

"Does that count as a pass?" Bill asked as he kept his face close to Mabel's.

"Hm... I don't know... One more?" Mabel asked innocently as Bill leaned back down and gave another peck as they made their way through the woods to the Mystery Shack.

"How about now?" Bill asked right after the kiss.

"One more." Mabel requested innocently again to be rewarded another peck.

"Now?"

"...One more."

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